If we feel or believe that we’ve been abandoned by someone we love, the loss and grief that we experience may be so intense that we might dive into distraction, protection, or both. Whether we seek solace in drink, food, drug, work, gambling, sex, the nearest quiet cave, or something else, these types of choices are like a Band-Aid on a chainsaw wound. They don’t cover or heal us, and they leave us open to further injury and infection.