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What will your Mentor do for YOU?
Mentors will care about what is in your best and highest good from a big-picture perspective. Mentors will inspire and encourage you to be your best—which you determine. Mentors will not tell you what to do. Mentors can be a safe place to share your truth and feel heard. Mentors can accelerate change. If change is desired, you will need to change (as within, so without). Methods can be discussed. Mentors will be supportive of your very best and your needs (which sometimes aren’t the same), and will offer you confidential, non-judgmental, unconditionally loving support.
What do Mentors do?
LISTEN to words and undertones. Ask thought-provoking questions to open you to new perspectives and possibilities. Motivate, provide accountability, inspire, celebrate accomplishments, help you discover internal and external resources to help yourself. Provide a fresh perspective and focus. Create a commitment. Hold you accountable to do what you say you will do. Be a champion and cheerleader for your best life and self that you love and enjoy!
What will you do?
You will set a clear and specific intention before each session and share that with your mentor. If you seek change, you will also set an agenda about what you want to talk about and accomplish (questions below). It is vital that you are honest and open about your issues, wants, fears, etc. so you can get the MOST out of the conversation. Lay it on the table-say, “this is what I want to do but I’m stuck. I’ve tried this, that and the other, but it hasn’t worked, that’s why I called you.” Be willing to look at yourself, be challenged and move forward.
What clients do not do.
Hire a mentor and expect the mentor to do everything. Expect easy answers. Expect change without being willing to do anything different (for example, clients wouldn't hire a personal trainer, then cancel all exercise to stay at home and eat Twinkies).
COUNSELING VS. MENTORING
Counseling is Archaeology (digging up the past), Mentoring is Architecture (planning and building clients by guiding them to invest care, attention and time in themself, discover their options and do what they need to do to move forward and optimize themself and/or their business).
Why do clients seek mentoring over counseling?
The choice to seek mentoring over counseling is a paradigm shift. Twenty years ago, people went to counseling if they had a mental illness or imbalance. Today, people seek mentoring to make life less complicated, more directed and enjoyable.
RELATIONSHIP STRUCTURE OF A MENTOR VS. COUNSELOR
Mentor and Client: It’s a co-created relationship. Mentors listen then provoke the client to think, feel, intuit and act accordingly. Mentors have higher expectations, give homework, provide challenges.
Counselor and Client: In therapy, counselors create a ‘safe container’ for clients to uncover how the past created who they are today. Most counselors have no expectations of the client, no homework for the client, do not hold them accountable for any change. They may offer clients tools to manage themself and life.
