Word to Your Mother.
The word “mother” has been selected as it relates to “Mother’s Day” and the celebration of concepts related to our ideal or real experiences of our mother(s). With the utmost respect for the wide variety of experiences each of us may currently have, did have, or never had with our mother(s), our hat is “respectfully tipped” to the love and care that can emanate equally-well from any and all beings—not just from mothers/females. For the sake of this article, the words “mother,” “mothering,” and “to mother,” it will be synonymous with the word “care.”
What’s happening within you?
One effective and inclusive way to care for ourself and soul, is to care about how we are. We may do so by genuinely offering ourself attention and interest (sometimes more easily said than done). We may caringly ask ourself the question, “How are you?” and listen for our full reply.
Many of us do not know what’s happening within us.
Instead of taking the time to know how we are and what’s true, we react to what’s happening outside us—news, pandemics, moods of others, traffic, etc. To compound the difficulty of not knowing how we are, we may have been taught to argue that we are “right,” rather than listening to others and our inner truth. If we can relate to this, we may resist listening to and caring for our inner thoughts, feelings, and needs.
Do you care?
If we don’t give a hoot about what’s happening within us, then caring for ourself may seem unrealistic. For the concept of mothering our soul to take root and grow within us, we need to care about our own heart and soul—which are the realest reality we can experience.
To deepen our care for ourself, and our ability to experience joy, consider the following questions listed next and detailed below: am I willing, am I curious, what do I think, how do I feel, what do I really need. It is highly encouraged to express our thoughts and feelings—to a friend, counselor, to a stuffed animal, an empty chair, or as I recommend, in a journal. Our experiences are part of who we are, and when they are held within and not expressed, may lead to illness.
Are you willing?
If we’ve read thus far, we can probably acknowledge that we are, at least partially willing to care more deeply for ourself. So, what’s the next step? To care for ourself more deeply, we can acknowledge and accept the part of us that is not willing to care more. Yes, you read that correctly, we can care about the part of us that resists care. This resistance is also part of us, and often stems from a feeling or belief that we are not worthy of care. However surprising it may seem, once we are willing to acknowledge and accept our own resistance (fear), it usually softens and subsides.
Are you curious?
After our fear subsides, we can become more curious. Being curious about how to care for ourself brings vitality and interest, which is part of caring. When we are curious, we want to know more.
Ask, “What do I think?”
We can take a set amount of time, 3-5 minutes, to acknowledge what we think. It is important to acknowledge thinking, yet not get caught up in the loop of its cyclical, driving nature. Again, it is highly recommended to express our thoughts in a healthy and safe way, such as journaling.
Ask, “How do I feel?”
If we are disconnected from our feelings, we also disconnected from our deepest needs and intuitive guidance. We can listen with our senses to know what we are experiencing within. What we are experiencing is our truth. Again, expressing these feelings in a healthy and safe way, is highly recommended.
Ask, “What do I really need?”
Initially, when we listen for what we need, we may access superficial yet important needs such as, “I need to use a restroom” or “I need a drink of water.” We may also access superfluous “needs” such as, “I need ice cream” or “alcohol” or “a cigarette.” Superfluous “needs” are a substitute for what we really need. When we ask ourself the question, “What do I really need?” we can learn the need beneath the superfluous need for “sweets and such.” When I’ve applied this question, “What do I really need” to myself, I realized that what I really needed wasn’t sex, money, work, fancy food and drinks, it was to know, love and care for myself in healthy ways.
We can compassionately care for ourself.
Compassion is sharing care and empathy for our own thoughts, feelings and needs. After we know the answers to the above questions, we can offer care for our sweet soul self—and give ourself what we really need.
We can also allow more space to listen.
By allowing ample space to “experience our experience,” regularly, without needing to fix or judge or change anything, we are offering ourself care. We can be sensitive and thoughtful and gentle with what’s happening within us. We can keep listening … and noticing what is coming up for us, moment-to-moment. We can provide ourself with healthy support for our needs, in whatever ways best suit us.
Once a mother, always a mother.
By learning to listen and care for the needs of our soul, we can become our own, ideal mother. By doing so, we can learn to support, nurture and nourish ourself consistently. Consistency is vital; We need ongoing care. For example, we can’t eat only once and remain satisfied. Just as a loving mother would give her child ongoing care, we, as the mother of our soul, can give ourself ongoing care. When we provide self-care willingly, regularly and with love, the way we feel about ourself and life become joyful, because we are what we need.
If we feel unworthy of motherly care …
Remember and repeat our three affirmations from the last weeks:
- I do matter.
- I am worth knowing.
- I am important.
Rather than waiting for someone else to mother our soul …
We can create a safe, inner-place to grow, know and learn a motherly-sort of gentle care for ourself. By doing so, we neither look to others, nor lean on them, to teach us. This allows us to learn from within, and share life and love with others, rather than needing something from them.
With care, willingness, curiosity and compassion, we can give ourself the freedom to listen, learn and grow our soul. No one can do this for us, and by doing so, we’ll always know that somebody cares—and that somebody is us! Let us know how applying today’s concepts works for you! We enjoy hearing from you 🙂
If you’d like Angelique’s assistance as you listen, learn and grow, you can explore ways in which a complimentary conversation or a package of conversations may support you.
Join us through May 21st on Hunting Island, SC to walk the beach, tour a lighthouse, listen to nature and an inspirational talk, bike the forest trails and share a meal. Advance bookings are required, so click for all the delicious details, and meet us in South Carolina through May 21st. For a complete listing of tour dates, see the tour page on willyougrow.com.
Always with love,