#1 Reason We Avoid Self-Care

This is the sixth of a series of articles about self-care.

Though the concept of self-care may sound good, it may be easier said than done. In today’s article, we’ll discuss the main reason we avoid self-care, and how to shift our self-perception to allow us to give and receive self-care.

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Do we give what is deserved?

Many of us have been raised to give to others what we think they deserve. For example, we may give someone money in return for a hard day’s work. We may give someone love, in return for their love.

Self-care is a form of giving.

Self-care is giving to our self. We may not be able to give self-care, because we’ve judged that we do not deserve to receive care. In order for us to give and receive self-care, we must feel worthy.

Self-care requires self-worth.

The #1 reason we avoid self-care, is because we’ve judged that we are not worthy to receive it.

Boost self-worth to give and receive self-care.

Two misperceptions can block our self-worth and self-care.

• Misperception #1: Self-care means body care. (Self is body.)
• Misperception #2: Self-worth is based on our body/mind. (Worth is what we do/think).

We can boost our self-worth and self-care, by shifting our perceptions.

Self-care is not just body care.

If we’ve misperceived our body as our self, we believe self-care means body-care. We’ll know if this is true for us if when we think of self-care, we think of types of care for our body, such as getting a massage, manicure, taking a nap, or eating our favorite food treat. Although these things can provide pleasure and comfort, a life that’s full of bodily self-care, while neglecting care for our whole self, can leave us feeling abandoned, depressed and suicidal. To paraphrase the famous Indian Yogi, Paramhansa Yogananda, “Having lots of money while not having inner peace is like dying of thirst while bathing in the ocean.” Rather than limiting self-care to our body, we can expand our perception to include whole-self-care for our body, mind and soul, thereby also caring for our inner peace and joy.

Our worth is not based on our body or mind.

To exemplify this, we may notice that there are many intangible things, without a body or mind, which are worthy. Love is worthy to exist (because it does), yet it has neither body nor mind. Love is also cared for and propagated by many. Beauty is worthy to exist (because it does), yet it has neither body nor mind. Beauty is also cared for and propagated by many. Kindness is worthy to exist (because it does), yet it has neither body nor mind, and is cared for and propagated by many. Same goes for fear, hatred, etcetera.

Existence proves worthiness.

When we look at a field of flowers, the fact that each flower exists, is an example of its worthiness. The reality is, at any moment, life has the power to choose to take its force from the flower and its body will die. And the worth of a flower is not determined by comparing it to others. The body of each individual flower is beautiful in its own way and is not more or less worthy of life’s care or attention, based on how it looks, how many petals it has, or what color they may be, or even if it has a mind or how it works.

We are all worthy to be alive.

Each of us are one of life’s flowers. The life force that makes us live, breathe and move, is the inherent worth of all living things. Worthiness boils down to this, we exist because we are worthy—and we are worthy because we exist. We are both the chicken and the egg in this scenario. And existentially, once we relate to ourself AS existence, there is no longer any need or use for self-worth.

We are all worthy to receive care.

When we know and accept that we are worthy, we can begin the powerful journey into whole self-care.

How can we grow to know our worthiness?

Again this week, we have three affirmations to boost our worthiness. These three affirmations may be said internally, aloud, or sung, as needed. Note: To receive the maximum benefit of affirmations, feel the feelings of the words, while speaking the words. If we feel any resistance, that’s a “note to self” to accept the resistance as a teaching tool, and allow internal-inquiry.

• Worthiness Affirmation #1: I do matter.
• Worthiness Affirmation #2: I am worth knowing.
• Worthiness Affirmation #3: I am important.

How can we know our whole self (soul/source)?

Below are two new affirmations. The more often we can say them, with kindness and curiosity, the more we may open to know our deeper self (soul/source). Note: Before I say these affirmations, I release my focus on what’s around me, focus on what’s going on within me, and breathe deeply and slowly until I feel my complete attention within myself. I also remind myself that there is far more that I do not know than I do know, and these next affirmations open me to connect to that great wisdom of the unknown.

• Whole Self Affirmation #1: I am not the body.
• Whole Self Affirmation #2: I am not the mind.

Rather than avoiding self-care …

We can create a safe, inner-place to know and care for our whole self. By doing so, we neither look to others, nor lean on them, to care for us. This allows us to feel noticed, appreciated, respected and cared about, by ourself. And, by caring for ourself rather than looking for others to care for us, we can simply share life with others, rather than needing something from them.

Will You?

I encourage you, to get to know your soul and its worth. By doing so, you will always know that somebody cares. Let us know how applying today’s concepts works for you! We enjoy hearing from you 🙂

Always with love,